Cucurella: A Clever Cunning Dark Artist

The Chelsea and Spain defender is a master of the dark arts

Dec 06, 2024

Marc Cucurella of Chelsea has all the cunning of a fox with a bushy tail

With his noticeable flowing hair, Marc Cucurella prods, goads and irritates his opponents with amazingly follicular frizzy frequency. Whenever Cucurella plays, whether for Chelsea or Spain, he is interesting and entertaining to watch because of the way he tangos, and tangles, with his opponents. Just ask Jack Stephens of Southampton, and Kasey McAteer and Steve Cooper* of Leicester.

The Spaniard Got Under Stephens’ Skin

The defender Stephens was dismissed in the 39th minute having tugged the curls of Cucurella during an inexplicable moment of madness.

Southampton captain Jack Stephens (red #5) tugs Marc Cucurella's hairdo

Was it really inexplicable? Those in the know, know the answer is no. No?

Why did Southampton captain Jack Stephens tug at Cucurella’s hairdo during Wednesday’s premier league match? Because he wanted to. Stephens had no good reason to. But he had a bad reason to … this was because the Spaniard irritated Stephens.

That’s what Cucurella does. He is a clever cunning master of the dark arts who knows how to negatively affect his opponents. It took 39 minutes for Chelsea’s Cucurella to get under the skin of Southampton’s captain!

This article will give some examples of Cucurella’s cunning so you can identify the dark arts when they occur.

The next article (following this one) will discuss a specific special dark art that Marc Cucurella plus only a select few excel at. [Please be sure to share these articles with your footy friends and family. Thank you.]

Cucurella Clashes with Kasey McAteer

In the match between Leicester and Chelsea, Cucurella was his typical solid defensive self and frequently frustrated and outfoxed his Foxes opponents. That's what Cucurella does.

In the 43', Cucurella used the Naughty Nudge (in the book Football Dark Arts DD9) to frustrate and irritate Leicester's Kasey McAteer. The Spaniard knows how to push opponents' buttons and get under their skin (as Jack Stephens recently learned the hard way).

Marc Cucurella (#3) clearly pushes Kasey McAteer (#35) in the back

Following the blatant push (Naughty Nudge), Cucurella follows this up by claiming innocence in front of the Assistant Referee. He knows how to play the match officials too (see this article where Cucurella was pretending to be helping the referee).

In the 66', after Cucurella had given Leicester's Kasey McAteer a torrid time throughout the match, he finally broke him. As Leicester was chasing the game, the experienced Cucurella came under pressure to keep possession of the ball. McAteer had closed down Cucurella to the point that the clever Spaniard shielded the ball. Under the slightest of contact, Cucurella sank like a sack of potatoes and conned the match officials into giving him a free kick.

Marc Cucurella (with the hair) sinks like a sack of potatoes

Cucurella Crushes Manager Cooper with a Caution

In addition to conning the referee into giving him a free kick, Cucurella ticked off Leicester manager Steve Cooper so much that referee Andy Madley had to caution Cooper for his outburst that slammed the match officials for being deceived by the Spaniard. In fact, a few minutes later Cooper hauled off McAteer because the Foxes defender was outfoxed and could not contain Cucurella.

Cucurella’s cunning caused Steve Cooper to be cautioned

*Unfortunately for Cooper, this was not his last outburst against the match officials in this match but it did turn out to be his last match as manager of Leicester City (as he was sacked the very next day). Cooper was perhaps justified to complain about a missed penalty decision in the 85' because even though Leicester were given a penalty in the 90+3', it was too little too late as far as Cooper was concerned. They lost 1-2.

I have the images and an explanation of these two penalty area incidents for Leicester that involved VAR (so please let me know if you, dear reader, would like a separate article about this, since this article is too long to include this extra content).

Conclusion

Marc Cucurella is a fascinating player to watch, especially as he tangos and tangles with his opponents using his knowhow of the dark arts. The next time you get the opportunity to watch this clever Spaniard, please watch closely … providing you can get past the hair!

NOTE: As a writer and referee, it takes time to put together these Footy Dark Arts articles. May I please request that you share/forward these articles to your football friends and family to help raise awareness of Footy Dark Arts and appreciation of the modern game. Thank you.